Monday, November 3, 2008

On Gnomes

I lost my rings the other day. My class ring and my promise ring. It was my own dumb fault I took them off in the bathroom at RIT and forgot them sitting on the sink.

Hours later when I realized I didn't have them they, of course, were gone. I ran to the Cage, the office in the Gordon Field House at RIT and they told me that they had not only been turned in to the office, but the office had turned them over to Public Safety for safe keeping. So off I went to Public Safety who had no record of any rings being turned over to them. Zip. Nada. Zero.

Suffice to say I was getting worried. So, I kept at it I made phone calls I talked to Public Safety a half dozen times over four days, I called the Cage, I spoke to the supervisor of the Cage, he talked to all the student managers and nobody knew anything.

Suddenly out of the blue they reappeared at the Cage. They had in fact not been turned over and had been sitting in the lost jewelry bin for days.

I got a phone call and they were returned to me.

How do Gnomes fit into this you ask? It's quite simple.

Everything we see is painted in frames. One frame at a time, by Gnomes. Small hairy Gnomes, with hats and jackets. Now, these Gnomes are not perfect and sometimes they forget things. Every notice how once you buy a replacement thing the old thing shows up? Well, it's not because you lost the old thing it's because the Gnomes forgot to paint in the old thing and when you went and got a new thing they remembered the old thing and then had to "paint it back in" this happens quite frequently. So, when my rings did not turn up the Gnomes had to paint them back in, yet they couldn't just paint them back somewhere out in the open, it had to make sense. So, they painted them back into the lost jewelry box so nobody would suspect they forgot. They keep their job this way.

So remember, when something goes missing... Blame the Gnomes!

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