Christmas, of sorts

I dislike most holidays. I'm no Grinch, no scrooge but I do prefer to celebrate in my own way, quietly, with a close few. I find the holidays to be a trying time, a stressful time, even as work winds into the slow season, and festive music can be heard on every station I find myself depressed, low, as if the overly festive atmosphere exposes the fact that I, at least most of the time, don't feel particularly festive.

I don't mind if others make merry, and I most certainly wouldn't say no to a gathering or party, I just find myself sad a lot this time of year. My situation, especially my finances, weigh on my mind. I reflect back on the year, both the highs and the lows, and I often find that the lows stick in my mind. I do my best to stay positive, but I find it hard. I'm hoping that this year will be better. I hope to be merry, and I hope to have a good end to a good year.

Here's to hoping.

Hello World

September 24th 2010, that is the date of the last update to this blog. That makes it just over two months ago, and the entries preceding that one were plenty sparse. I find myself monologuing in my head, having a discussion as if giving a lecture. When I find myself doing that, I blog.

Given that I no longer have to write, at least creatively, I find the urge comes and goes, when I feel I have something to talk about I do, when I don't, I don't. These inner monologues are the indicator that I might just have something to talk about. I'm sure through the holidays I'll be blogging more, if for no other reason then for the stress relief.

All's Quiet

I've always taken to writing as a way to make sense of things, a sounding board if you will. When life makes no sense, I write more, when life makes sense I write less.

While I can't say life makes any more sense now then it did a month or two ago I've certainly been busy, and with being busy comes a certain narrowing of focus, blinders if you will. I've had to walk away from quite a few things in recent weeks, all in the name of keeping the bills paid and the lights on. I've given up Judo, and with that most exercise. I've given up weekends and evenings to car repair and side projects, all in the hope that I can keep the bank balance above 0. I fear it's a false hope, but I still try.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the situation I'm in, the situation all too many people are in. Simply put, why is it so hard to simply live? Why is it so hard to simply stay on the level? I'm not looking to prosper, I'm not looking to move up in the world, I'm simply looking for stability. However I fear that stability is a myth, it's a line that's sold to kids in college, the thought that if you do everything right then you'll be ok.

It's just hard to have made it to the good job, the degree, the house, the wife, the white picket fence, and to be absolutely broke. It's heart breaking. It really makes you question your decisions, question your choices, and at the end of the day it's a terribly sad state of affairs when you simply can't live your life even though everyone says you should be able to.

Sex and Fighting

I'm a fan of Planned Parenthood on Facebook. I appreciate the liberal, slightly biased, open-minded approach to sexuality, sexual health, and sexual freedoms. PPH's views mesh well with mine and I appreciate what they do. However, I find that some of the followers that post comments to the articles that Planned Parenthood posts can be as bigoted and close-minded as any.

Now I know that liberalism does not equate to open-mindedness but I would hope that those that profess a more liberal viewpoint would also be hesitant to make snap judgments.

A specific comment sparked this rant, I'll reproduce it below, names removed to protect the "innocent"

"After letting my kids know that porn is, in no way, "real" sex, I would much rather them see boobs than cage fighting. I think what we consider taboo, in the US, is a little backwards. Violence, and the depiction of it, should be the taboo subject, while the beauty of sexuality should be freely expressed."

The discussion was on when, and how, to talk to children about pornography, as well as some of the good talking points when it comes to pornography. Frankly, I found the article enlightening. It touched on points I had never really thought about.

I'll link to the article here

The question in particular, in case it gets moved if the one asking for advice when a 14 year old girl and 16 year old boy found some porn online.

Anyway, I digress. The comment posted above got to me. My views on fighting are hardly a secret. My views on sex are hardly a secret. I don't see the issue with either as long as it's two CONSENTING adults.

Hell, if you want to step into a ring, onto the mat, or into a cage then do so. If you find someone who wants to get in there with you, good for them. Fighting is the single most difficult pursuit a man, or woman, can engage in. Fighting requires a degree of stamina, of fitness, not seen in other pursuits. Why should we as a society demonize violence? Why should we as a society demonize sex, sexuality, or really any act between two consenting adults.

It just upsets me when people speak about a topic they have no knowledge of. I'm of the mind that if you want to try and ban fighting they you should have at least fought. Get on the mat, train, work out, cross hands with a fighter and if afterwards you still want to ban fighting then at least you can speak from a position of knowledge as opposed to ignorance.

Plans, Big Plans

I've never been one to do things the easy way, I know it makes no sense but suffering, as they say, builds character.

Over the last several years I've managed to work myself into a precarious financial situation, in which I'm left with a pile of bills, a pile of money, and if I'm lucky the money pile is bigger.

However, never being one to let reality get me down, I've decided that the best motivation is an audacious goal. So, I've decided that by the age of 30, that is October 13th 2014 I will have all my school loans and personal debt paid off. This amounts to a whopping $43,000 dollars of debt, plus or minus a bit, paid off in just over four years time, or to put that in perspective $10,000 dollars per year.

Given my current rate of repayment this plan is quite simply, impossible.

I don't make enough money to successfully pay off $10,000 per year, plus interest. However if I can manage to create, market, and sell a product that can generate a stream of renewable revenue then this goal becomes not only possible, it becomes relatively trivial to do.

I'm also looking into the possibility of acquiring rental property, most likely HUD property and earning additional income that way. We shall see which way I end up going. Either way, it's a big goal, a crazy goal, and I hope I'm up to the challenge.

One Nail Short

I'm branching out! I've started a second blog One Nail Short

We're one of "those" couples

The Missus and I are moving, hopefully into a new house, but at the very least out of our current apartment.

As I was packing today I realized The Missus and I are one of "those" couples, you know the couples with a million boxes of books, all weighing at least 45lbs. Yeah, that's us, sorry.

It seems like I've moved a few of those couples, I even moved a Reverend once, you want to see a pile of books move a Reverend. The Missus and I aren't quite at that stage but we're close. Say .8 Reverends.

It's funny, we've been looking for houses for months and it's today, the act of packing, that makes it seem real. It's as if up until now we were not moving, just looking, and now we are really going to pick up and move. Scary.